Greetings and Social Aspects

 

Some of this post may be a little daunting for some people to read i am sorry.

We read all these magazines and books and more than often we think this will never happen to me or to anyone i know how wrong can you really be and as they say never say never things can happen to anyone.

Someone may well be perfectly healthy or at least look great but do we know what is really going on, one healthy moment may not last forever so look after what you have but also look around keeping in contact with the friends we have as no one can be brought back when they are gone.

Don’t cry over spilled milk is another saying where you make a mistake and it may be the closure of whatever you wish not to happen.

Waking in the morning we all wish for a great day and peace no bills no hassles and a straight path into our days or weeks but this does not always happen we all our own worst enemies and we have to work with how we deal with things.

The small things in life are so very important talking is the best form of medicine to help people as they will almost always start to talk to the person who is there.

Many families are extended by the parents re-grouping into another relationship adding maybe another group with also children, This is a common thing in this day and age.

We read so much about the extended family more children and maybe and extra parent these are the most common things that happen to a lot of families in this day and age.

Things have changed with the purpose of life also changing greatly some aspects of life families are supposed to support each other but sometimes they grow apart or there are many other reasons why families break up.

So there are many reasons why families part or fall apart here are just a few

Top one probably affairs

Family breakdown

Death in family

Someone has moved

Stress

Abuse in the household can mean many things

Physical abuse

Sexual abuse

Mental Abuse

Although physical abuse can mean many other forms of abuse it really means hitting with

Hands

Belts

Sticks

Horse strap

These are just a few of the forms that can go on and most of them behind closed doors nobody knows as an abused person will generally hide what has happened and this may only come to life after many years or the person that was causing the abuse.

Many survivors are just that survivors because they learn to become strong and they more than often think no one will believe what has happened or happening because they have been threatened by the abuser the most common threat is that you will split the family up if you tell anyone and they probably won’t believe you anyway and just say you are making it up.

The abuse from a family member is bad enough but when it becomes sexual abuse by someone who you know and trust more than enough abusers actually get away with abuse and claim that they have done nothing wrong.

There are so many stories that would make you burn with anger where a father or step parent actually is the abuser and it so cruel they will force the child not to say anything and if they do say something the abuser can just deny anything has been done.

It is really hard to prove that anything has happened to anyone unless for the fear the survivor has moved away from the family home and then it can be a case where they will talk to someone without hesitation.

Mental abuse also comes in with the sexual and physical abuse it is a very cruel thing to put anyone through and worse when the survivor can’t open up about anything because of the threats that have been given there is such a nasty thing about any of these types of abuse and that is that the abusers are usually victims themselves at sometime n their lives so they see themselves they actually don’t know any different but to hurt people that they think is loving so this has a role on effect as well.

There are many different forms of pain and heartache that we go through in life.

As in an earlier paragraph, there are many different forms of abuse but think about it there are the worst ones such as child abuse and how the hell do the young babies get over what they have gone through, how can a young child tell the parent or parents that someone is doing these bad things to them or even worse the poor children that lose their lives because of the abuser has chosen to end it before it has begun.

Many of the survivors never tell because the person who is committing the crime against them is there and the survivor would be scared, sometimes they will say something if they are at school age and understand what has happened to them is bad and should not happen also that they need the help as well.

There are many stories that never get heard so really people need to start talking and telling their stories you don’t need to leave names but you can talk with no hassles i am a qualified counselor and will help with things that are requested.

There are so many people that are not aware of the pain that goes on when they are not in the house or when they are sleeping it is a very sad life we actually live right now.

We are a universe that has shutters over our eyes and we don’t see what is in front of us because of fear the next piece i am talking about is elderly abuse and how we neglect even our own family but not just that it is about elderly care in the home in nursing homes and in residential homes or in assisted living.

Working in care i have seen a lot of problems listing some below

Untrained carers or not trained enough

Uncaring carers

Slack care

Abuse is not just being hit it is not being assisted with personal care, not giving the food to the client, checking pressure areas for sores and tissue tears it is a commitment in care and this is a job you either have the heart to do it or you should not be working in care.

Don’t think that care is easy it is not it is a very heartfelt and hard job you have to be willing to help people of all color race and religion be prepared for unusual things happening and for the elderly to want to talk be polite and caring indulge them make them feel loved don’t ignore what you should be doing always ask questions if you are not sure in whatever area of care you work in.

You have to want to work in care because it is a very tough job too many, people go into care thinking it is easy and then they think because of that they also think that its easy money it is not you work for your money but you also need to learn respect for the people who you care for.

Abuse comes in many forms and it is hard enough in life we can speak out but fear holds us back i want to help try and talk about the things that you have been through it doesn’t matter what sort of abuse or why you can leave me a message and i will get back to you.

 

 

 

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Comments

  1. It is so amazing how a family unit can really break down but the good part is that in the mists of what happens there is always hope to help relieve the amount of pressure that comes. Prays along with programs for the family can help. Thanks so much for sharing.

    1. Hi Norman
      Thank you for the comment, it takes a lot of sorting through things and maybe being part of the family some people don’t get that privilege they end up with a state of broken homes and relationships that are so torn apart that they cannot make it back to normality this is the sad part of life.

  2. There really are so many disruptions both large and small in our everyday lives. Having worked with children and families for many years in the mental health field, I have dealt with many of these both professionally as well in my personal life with family and friends.

    You have provided many valuable insights, especially the reminder to always remember others and to pay attention to the small things. Thanks for the many important ideas you presented.

    1. Hi Joseph
      Thank you for the comment.
      We are all at fault when we forget the people that sit on the street and the person who has nothing to eat that little girl who has been abused and all because we don’t see or ask how they are.
      Tracey

  3. Kevin says:

    Amazing post. It is super relevant to me. My family has been on the verge of breaking down for a while. My father gambled away $10,000 and my mother completely shut him outside for a while. Then the arguing and yelling continued and it still occasionally does, although for different reason. I always thought this was normal in families but it seems as if it’s not. I’m grateful that nobody has experienced any sexual abuse or that much physical abuse, in the end we are still together. What are some tips you have for improving wellness within the family?

    1. admin says:

      Hi Kevin

      Thank you for the comment great response and really good to hear that things are not so bad, there is always a reason why someone will turn to gamble it could of been anything hidden stress, it takes a lot to get the trust back into a family and the arguing to stop anything can make the barriers go back up bu trust is the main reason to keep things smooth.

      Tracey

  4. Petra says:

    We’ve had our fair share of heartache and pain and are still in the process of rebuilding our lives. We’ve had a desth of a parent, the loss of a pregnancy, a diagnosis of cancer, having to move house and many more things all within one year and the consequences from all of that to deal with for years after. It takes a long time to get back to normal, or in our case to a new normal. You only find out how resilient you really are if something like that happens to you.

    What was the main thing that helped you through the bad times? 

    1. admin says:

      Hi Petra

      It really has happened to my whole family my ex was an abuser/my father died/ one of my brothers had a break down my other brother had cancer and oh i nearly died so i the lost my best friend my mum.

      But the reason i became a counselor was that i want to help people through and make things a little easier so i have a perfectly good reason to help people.

      Thank you for the comment

      Tracey

  5. Wendy Fisher says:

    Hey, thank you for this. I think it’s so important to spread the word about abuse in families. Do you know what percentage of families suffer from an abusive dynamic? 

    It’s important to let others know if you’re being abused. Abuse is never okay and everyone deserves better. 

    Take care of each other, everyone. 

    1. admin says:

      Hi Wendy 

      Thank you for the comment i work hard on my posts and my aim is to help other people as i have in the past.

      Thank you once again.

      Tracey

  6. Stella says:

    Life can be so unfair to the some children that found themselves in a broken home where they are living with only their father or step father. Most children started their horrible way of life through this physical, sexual and emotional maltreatment making them become useless to the society. Other children when grew up a bit consider taking law by their hands in order to eradicate the awful misery. Is that a better way to address it? What could be a superb way to get through this experience?

    1. admin says:

      Hi Stella 

      Any abuse no matter where it comes from is really hard to deal with we may come to terms with but it will always be sitting at the back of our minds.

      Sexual abuse in a child’s mind that has been threatened not to tell their other family members will always have fear of the threat that they have been given maybe something like you will be blamed for what has happened and you won’t be believed you will be called a liar or the best one is you will break the family up, horrible threat to a young child and it is very cruel.

      Tracey 

    2. Hi Stella
      sorry for the late reply Thank you for your comment

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